Ketchup is God's man juice
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
PANTIES FOUND
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
