Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this beer tastes like vomit already
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
