Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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