omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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