Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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