I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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