from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
