I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
