I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
