so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
