Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
