she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
