Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
