"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
