I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
