Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
