her vagine was all disorganized.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My vagina just clenched in fear
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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