how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
