Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
