D3 body, D1 cock
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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