I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
