oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
