Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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