LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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