:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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