So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
