just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
