talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
