Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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