I just cut my nipple shaving
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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