Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
