Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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