Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
