we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
