I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
