1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
