If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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