I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
