I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
