By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
