i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize