Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
a search helicopter?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
