This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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