a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
