I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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