You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
