I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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