sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
