I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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