If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
