Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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