im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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