i was born a porn star she said
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
