I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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