This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Damn victory sex feels great
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