Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
