what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
