Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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