What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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