I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
